I have always loved Mario. Something about that fatass Italian plumber filled me with glee. My grandma's basement is filled with Mario posters. I keep my Mario merchandise next to my collection of My Little Pony toys and fedoras. It is my mission in life to collect every Mario game in existince. I am only missing one game and will stop at nothing to find it.
I was walking home from Bronycon when I encountered a old man selling bootleg NES games in the back of his white, unmarked van. The van was very hot and stuffy. The man identified himself as Hurbert. "You know if you get sweaty you can take your shirt off", he said. I beat him to death with my fedora and stole all the Mario games. I ran home to my grandma's basement where I promptly inserted the game into my NES.
The game began with Mario running across a desert world. It looked just like a normal desert world, execpt the question mark blocks where covered in hyper-realistic blood. I pressed start and the game began. I was placed into a normal Mario level, with green grass and goombas and koopas running around.
I ran around the world for a while before a ran into a koopa. The koopa shanked Mario and ate his appendix. I've never seen shanking or appendix-eating in a Mario game before, so that struck me as odd. I dimissed it as a glitch and pressed continue.
Instead of restarting at the begining of the level, I was skipped to the next world.
"SUPER DEATH WORLD 666".
THAT sp00ked me a little. I was placed in a another desert world. The sky was red and hyper realistic. The koopas and goombas were covered in hyper realistic blood. The ground was covered in blood that was hyper realistic. Mario fell on the ground and died. The screen then faded to black.
I googled "SUPER DEATH WORLD 666" and found it was a rare unreleased Mario game created by a Nintindoah employee possesed by Satan.
I then realized...
I had found the last Mario game to complete my collection.
I slid the game onto my self, causing a portal to the 4th dimension to open. I walked inside to find a large clear button. I pressed it, causing the universe as we know it to become entangled in a multi-diminsional time warp no human can comprehend.
I tipped my fedora.
The deed was done.